Why entrepreneurship can destroy relationships – and how to avoid it. Don’t forget to work on your relationship as well as your business.

Last week the team at Startup Daily published an edited extract from my book, Discipline beats Vision How to Be the Leader Your Company Needs Starting Monday. Below are the link and the article.

You know the importance of investing time, energy and resources into self-development, and of building trust and accountability in the business.

But do you place the same level of importance on your most critical and hopefully longest relationship – your life partner?

I know the importance of a successful relationship with your life partner through my experience with my wife, Melinda. I could not have achieved the same career or financial success without Melinda by my side for over 40 years.

We’ve worked well together to raise three amazing daughters, Sophie, Emily and Paige, who are all now in their thirties, married, having children and achieving success in their own careers.

As with any relationship, it takes ongoing commitment to make this work. Melinda and I have had considerable challenges to navigate during my 25-year CEO career including a total of 11 country moves and 29 house moves.

We have been fortunate to have had great mentors and role models who have helped us to understand and recognise the importance of making your life partner your partner.

A disciplined leader is a role model for your team

Booz Allen was a top-tier consulting firm in the mix with Mc

Kinsey, BCG and Bain.

It was purchased by Price

WaterhouseCoopers (PwC) in 2014. I loved my time at Booz Allen; I was there for six years, built strong relationships with my colleagues, and enjoyed the work thoroughly.

After six years, they promoted me to principal; a role that is theoretically undertaken one or two years before a partnership would be offered. However, I left Booz Allen because I looked at the partners and, in my opinion, saw few healthy long-term relationships.

Most partners worked extremely long hours with little control over their lives, as they were always on call for clients. Many partners were divorced, and some of them multiple times.

Maybe I was wrong in blaming the work for their divorces, but I could not see enough role models at the partner level to encourage me and inspire me to stay.

You are likely to be in a relationship today. Maybe you’re married and have young children. I’m certain you are time-poor, with many demands on your time. However, you can be both an impactful leader and a supportive partner, but it takes a deliberate approach.

Alternatively, you may think, ‘I’m not in a relationship today. The most important thing in my life is the startup I’m creating’. This may be the case, but it will change. If it doesn’t change, you may find yourself financially successful but very alone.

Approaches to building a true life partnership

First, read through this list yourself and consider the suggestions. Then read it with your partner and discuss it to learn what resonates with them:

These behaviours might differ from how you’ve approached relationships in the past, so focus on the areas that feel most natural to you today.

This is an edited extract from Dane Hudson Discipline beats Vision: How to be the leader your company needs starting Monday (Wiley, $36.95), available at all leading retailers, and .

Originally published on LinkedIn. Read the original →